Who I am and why I’m here…

This past winter, I signed up for a six week online writing class at our local community college. Every Saturday morning I’d finish watching my favorite PBS cooking shows with my husband, shift our chubby gray cat off my lap, unwrap myself from a cozy blanket and wander over to the desktop. I’d join the online chat and see my instructors’ name on the list of participants. There were three other people enrolled in the class, but usually no one else came…it was just me and the instructor (talk about a nice teacher/student ratio). We’d start by reviewing last weeks writing homework and the assigned readings. Eventually, the discussion would inevitably shift to more personal musings, “What do you wanted to accomplish by taking this class? What is your history with writing? What writing have you done in the past?”

I told the instructor that I’d been keeping personal journals over the last year, but had recently felt a new inner stirring. That I might have things I wanted to say…out loud…to other people. I hoped the class would help me find an avenue where I could write publicly while still giving myself space to build confidence in my own voice and hone my focus. I told her that I started to journal regularly after I’d voluntarily left my corporate office job months before. I’d left because I had chosen to listen to a voice vibrating from deep inside me – a voice that begged for me to stop. This sweet voice was panicked – a little girl who had known heavy burdens in her life. Confused and lonely, so very tired. Longing to be still, longing to let go and just breathe. I spent time getting to know this sweet girl within my heart and on the pages of my journal. Listening to what she had to say. Moving through emotions from long ago that she was just now feeling safe enough to release. Feeling the thaw of long frozen aspects of a more full and true inner nature. She and I together were awakening – emerging.

My journals became a personal chronicle. Some entries allowed a place of free expression – getting it all out, sorting through life’s chapters. Some entries were meant to support and encourage a belief in my own wisdom, truth and strength. There were quotes, insights from within, calls to trust in the profound journey I had embarked upon. Day by day I was finding my footing, growing more vital. I was discovering that my life today could be expansive, sacred, dreamy and full of wonder. I also discovered a core and cellular part of myself that wants to glow warm and bright, to be fully immersed in living. I want to foster love, connection, oneness – support joy, curiosity, imagination. I want to hold life gently, not take things too seriously. I want to wander with my eyes wide open – a pilgrim discovering the universe anew each day. These convictions have become my working manifesto.

With these thoughts in mind, my writing instructor suggested I start my very own blog. After some step-by-step, deliberate consideration and research, here I am! Within this blog, I hope to document details from my own life and observations of the world around me as they unfold each day. So, naturally, topics and tone will vary. This blog is also a declaration of dissent to that voice in my head that tells me I have nothing unique or interesting to say – too bad, I’m blogging anyway. I’m excited to learn more about my own voice and writing style. I give myself permission to be flexible and open to shifting course as my blogging evolves.  And finally, I look forward to connecting with other bloggers and followers in a sort of kindred fellowship – becoming part of a conscious community.

And so I begin. With a deep breath from my belly and feet firmly grounded to the  earth, I lead with my heart and…publish my first blog post!!

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